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How to be undeniably attractive

We are attracted to the things we cannot or are not supposed to have. It is why Eve bit into the apple and why there are so many gay Mormons, pedophile priests and hypocritical Republicans. The basic fundamental rule of attraction is this: we want what we cannot have.

Being self assured allows us the freedom to do what we want simply by making confident and resolute decisions that are based on a solid foundation of self reliance and self trust

Marriage notwithstanding, unlike Mormons, priests and Eve, a commandment to abstain is rarely put upon us and we assume that the careers, people and things that we are attracted to are unavailable to us. Why? Doubt and fear copiously fed through an untamed ego. How many times does a less than self-assured suitor feebly convince himself that by showering his gorgeous date with gifts will make him more attractive, rendering her helpless with no choice but to fall in love with him. Simply because she “should.” His wild and feral ego have successfully manipulated his own insecurities ultimately meddling and sabotaging this inevitably doomed romance.

Presuming the woman is self assured and is discerning enough to not only realize this, but to walk away from it, the suitor will naturally feel even more attracted to her, leaving his pesky ego no choice but to unfortunately place her in his “ungrateful bitch” category.

Being self assured allows us the freedom to do what we want simply by making confident and resolute decisions that are based on a solid foundation of self reliance and self trust. Without these positive, self guiding tenets, our “sale-ability” or attractiveness is diminished in the eyes of those to whom we are attracted. Ultimately rendering us a huge disappointment.

A young man approached me once, confessing that he wanted six pack abs. He flatly declared, “I want abs, man ‘cause then I’ll be happy.” My mind did somersaults wrestling with his absurd statement. He was an easy “sale” if I were to train him, but it was shamelessly apparent that nothing I would do, would truly make him happy. Having visible six pack abs might appease him, but will it ever satisfy him?

As a personal trainer, women often state that they “just wanna get rid of this flab under here” as they point and tug on the imaginary flab. Or they will say “I just wanna fix this,” or sometimes even, “look, do you think this is ugly? ‘Cause I just wanna get rid of it.” The “just wannas” will never end. Some gyms, will quickly sign these people up for personal training; they are a goldmine. But I won’t. You see, I believe that you can be overweight and be happy and you can have six pack abs and be unhappy. Fitness isn’t always about the body. Fitness is an overall state of well being that comes from the mind allowing it to permeate and affect the soul; the essence of who you are. And being fit on the inside will ultimately show on the outside, ultimately making you that more alluring, and undeniably attractive.

Shafin de Zane author of “Redefine Your Reality” explains that we are “attracted to all the things that are probably out of [our] reach at the moment.” He explains that in order to manifest them into reality, requires a substantial effort, an effort “that will challenge you to challenge yourself into becoming more than what you are right now.

Indeed, we can get what we want, but only when we are prepared. Preparation comes from hard work and confidence, two critical ingredients in the formula for attractiveness. It is only when we are prepared that the opportunity will present itself. And this is called good luck.