Performancing Metrics

Your browser (Internet Explorer 6) is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites. Learn how to update your browser.



How can you discover who you can be, if you are constantly reminded of who you used to be?

One of the first steps one must take in becoming the person you want to be, is to let go of the person you used to be. And it starts with possessions.

Photo taken by and © Stefan Pinto

Possessions do possess us and all of those mementos of “remember when?” only serve to keep you there. How can you possibly discover who you can be, if you are constantly reminded of who you used to be?

Possessions not only prevent you from seeing the possibility of who you can be, but they slyly blind you to even being aware that you are no longer the person you used to be. Do yourself a great, big, free, relieving, releasing favor and just get rid of it. Dump the souvenirs and don’t buy any more.

People. This is the most difficult to accept and to do. Getting rid of people who know you only as you used to like, you used to say… Those people will not only cause you to feel bad about no longer liking what you used to like and guilty for not saying the things you feel you should say, they prevent you from ever saying the things you want to say and doing the things you yearn to do.

People do come into our lives for a reason, but that doesn’t mean that we need to keep them around, like we would possessions. You do change, and if you don’t believe me, try maintaining a conversation with your high school friend on Facebook.

If you’re holding onto a memory, a photo of the person you once were; a slimmer you, a prettier you, a you with a full-head-of-hair, know that, that person is gone. Work on the person you can be and want to be.  Unless you are *ready* to do that, you will always find yourself looking back and comparing. You will NEVER be that person. Ever.

  • This is a difficult one, to stop pining for the smaller waist and slimmer hips of me at 20. I’ve had children, life moves forward. So yes, the question is who do I want to be now, with all my life experience and knowledge, seems I’d be better at many things, including taking are of myself.


    1:59 am

  • Well said. Its a credo i live by. I have had a very hard time leaving my horse life behind. Im praised by old colleagues when i show interest in getting back into the horse world. My life had always been defined by being a horse trainer. I still find i feel pride when i tell ppl that i was a professional. I feel a certain desire when i envision breeding a perfect specimen, or developing the perfect equine partner. Is it wrong to live life for one passion? Or is it wrong to remain captive to it. Im torn. I find i have many passionate persuits, but i always end them with afterwards settling down to a horse buddy. Im so confused.

    Susan Catt

    11:16 pm

  • How can you discover who you can be, if you are constantly reminded of who you used to be?: via @stefanpinto

  • Manny, after I answered “no” on Facebook, you choose to come to my blog and ask the same question, intently, in all caps. So, what answer will you like that will make you feel better about yourself? Since the truth doesn’t work well with you, I can simply tell you what you want to hear and move on.

    Stefan Pinto

    4:55 am


    Manny Arocho

    4:49 am


    Manny Arocho

    4:48 am

  • I would like you to answer the question for once and all. Have you ever taken steroids to enhance your muscles?

    Manny Arocho

    4:47 am

  • I am still finding myself, who I am to become, what I want from my life, and who I want in my life, but will always have responsibilities to and for, my children!

    As long as we have to be a part of society, need food, clothing, and a roof over our heads, none of us can ever be completely free!


    9:25 pm

  • Sad. Ever wonder why homeless people have grocery carts of stuff? Reminds me of the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks and his “friend” Wilson. When he lost Wilson he had to move on.

    Rich Sobel

    4:07 pm

  • Painfully insightful. Thank you for this, I needed it.

    Anita Nelson

    1:09 am

  • How can you discover who you can be, if you are constantly reminded of who you used to be? « Fat to Fit by @StefanPinto

    @ModelSupplies (@AnitaNelson)

    1:06 am

  • The challenge in life is to appreciate everything but attach yourself to nothing.


    12:48 am

  • Yes, possessions do possess us.

  • I love, love, LOVE this post, Stefan!

    Simone Cruz

    10:27 pm

  • YES I agree!!! RT @stefanpinto How can u discover who u can be, if u are constantly reminded of who u used to be?

    Karla Guy (@KarlaGuy)

    10:08 pm

  • Stefan, I love your photos! The one you used here of the seagulls is beautiful!

    Rona E

    2:10 pm

  • This is a great post, Stefan.

    Adam Kastoria

    2:02 pm

  • I really appreciate the insightfulness about working on who you want to be and can be. It is very important to have the proper positive mindset to set your goals and go for them. You need to look ahead and “see” yourself inorder to get to the place you want. Once again Stefan, thanks for pointing out what needs to be done inorder to advance oneself.

    David Schoner

    2:11 am

  • Awesome! I love your post. (:


    9:42 pm

  • Hi Liam. An introspective remark. Thank you for posting it. If by “ironic” you are insinuating a flagrant use of before photos as it relates to moving on — and letting go — then I disagree. The photos of who I used to be are not whom I aspire to be; they represent ten years of work to become — and be — the person I wanted to be. However, if you mean they appear comparative, then “yes” it is ironic, but the past photos are not the ideal.

    Stefan Pinto

    6:07 pm

  • I understand the principle you’re trying to get over, but it is ironic to be reading this post while there’s your Before and After pics just beside it…


    5:36 pm

  • Leave a comment  




    Submit comment